TheNuze.com

In an attempt to disassociate themselves from salivation and other saliva-related imagery, the Salvation Army has announced their intention to change their name.  Though the non-profit plans to do exhaustive market research before fixing on a new name, some preliminary suggestions have included The Soup Group, Savior Selves, The Bell Ringers, and oddly enough The Spit Brigade.  When asked to comment on the intended name change, one volunteer responded "I have an idea.  How about putting some insulation in these Santa coats; they're just one thin-ass layer of felt and it's f***ing cold out here".