TheNuze.com

At a press conference earlier today, J Leo Walling the CEO of Federated Department Stores, owners of Macy's, made the following statement.  "After a great deal of corporate soul searching, we have come to realize that aggressively supplanting historical and much-beloved regional department store chains such as Marshall Fields, Kaufmanns, Hechts, Filenes, Lazarus, Rich's, L.S. Ayres, Shilitto's, and many, many more, with our own Macy's brand, while profitable in the short term, may have seriously alienated millions of our would-be future customers.  We may also have somewhat over-estimated how much the Macy's brand means to people outside of New York.  So in an effort to make it up to everyone, we are pleased to announce plans for a joint venture with George Steinbrenner whereby, as a gift to baseball fans everywhere, we will be purchasing every Major League Baseball franchise across this great country and re-branding them all as the Yankees."