TheNuze.com

It was revealed Wednesday evening that the monstrously popular reality show American Idol is, in actuality, nothing more than a televised karaoke contest.  As millions of loyal fans have been crushed by this revelation, the show's producers have scrambled to do damage control.  In an interview with Diane Sawyer, a tearful Ryan Seacrest pleaded with fans to give the show a second chance: "We never willfully mislead anyone.  It's just a bunch of amateurs singing other people's songs over music which they aren't playing, is it our fault that nobody has connected the dots before now?  Sure there's a thin veneer of television glitz, but we never lied; we never lied."  American Idol's future is unclear.  The show has no writing or acting to fall back on, no story-lines to continue, and no journalistic or documentary value; without the masses of fans inexplicably obsessed with their own collective impact on the ever-shifting popularity of the various contestants, the show is almost certainly doomed.