TheNuze.com

Arlington - During a broadcast of "The News At Six" last month, WKLA weatherman Russ Meinhoff amazed many of his viewers.  In a nearly super-human display of restraint, Meinhoff was able complete a 5 minute weather forecast in which he reported extensively on the record-cold weather we were experiencing without once making a disparaging joke about global warming.  Given the recent failings of the Copenhagen summit, this single isolated achievement was enough to catapult Meinhoff into the national spotlight making him a darling of the environmental movement and earning him the coveted Environmentalist of Year Award - although Al Gore contends that he actually won the popular vote.  "It's a great honor", said Meinhoff, "but I'm probably going to have to start recycling now."

Colleen Malone of Arlington took offense when she was referred to as a fiery redhead at last Tuesday's Planning Board meeting.  "I am not!" she exclaimed passionately, "Anyone can see that my hair is orange and if people don't stop calling me a redhead, I'm really going to lose it!"  The Board then quietly moved to grant Ms. Malone her variance without delay.  To which she replied, "Come to think of it, my goldfish is orange too and so are those stupid Yellow Freight trucks."