TheNuze.com

Arlington - There was a chill in the air at the Arlington High last Friday evening, as our varsity football team met their seasonal rivals from Glendale.  The chill in the air quickly turned to chills down the spine as a sizable contingent of spectators dressed in colorful, untailored, full-length tunics or cloaks made their way to a group seats among the Glendale fans.  Shortly after kick-off, rumors began spreading in the Arlington stands that they were part of a doomsday cult.  This sparked a wave of anxiety and a number of concerned parents called the authorities.  Among the responders was Officer Mike Tilton: "There was no cause for alarm.  The people in question were wearing Snuggies.  I recognized them from late night TV but after seeing them in real life, I got to admit those things looked creepy as hell."  Members of the Arlington High Boosters have suggested that the Glendale fans may have worn the eerie garments in an intentional effort to "freak out our players".  When asked about the doomsday cult mix-up, Arlington fan Jeff Bianco said, "We were all relieved to learn that those were just Snuggies.  For a while there I thought I might have some competition for my own Pillars of Light Congregation.  By the way, we prefer that people use the term 'end-times worship group'."