TheNuze.com

An Arlington man who has chosen to remain anonymous claims to have found a "To my Wife" card that didn't make him want to hurl.  "I had been looking at cards for nearly an hour", said the man.  "I had all but given up hope and was continuing to read cards mostly out of a kind of morbid curiosity, when all of a sudden I found it - a card that wasn't endless ramblings of candied excrement - no long, sugary paragraphs overflowing with unknowable, and often incorrect, sentimentalisms about our life together.  [The card] didn't even seem to be predicated on the assumption that all grown men are illiterate morons who think they're buying words by the pound.  It was short, simple, beautiful, and almost certainly the result of a massive screw up at the typesetters.  So I bought them all and I'm going to make a fortune on Ebay."