TheNuze.com

Darby Rove the wife of former George W. Bush campaign manager Karl Rove announced today that she and her husband have filed for divorce.  Asked to cite reasons for the divorce the former Mrs. Rove replied, "Really?  He's Karl Rove!  You actually need me to cite reasons for divorcing him?"  She then began with a ten minute listing of derogatory adjectives to describe her former husband many of which were unfamiliar to even the most literate of reporters.  Upon further questioning she admitted that, over the past decade, she had developed her own lexicon of words used to differentiate in fine detail varying levels of evil.  "You know how the Inuit have over 100 words for snow?  It's sort of like that.  When you are exposed to so much of one particular thing you become a bit of a connoisseur.  For instance "blaved" is a softer more passive aggressive anger where one might not say anything but just pretend to accidentally shut the dogs paw in the door and walk away while the dog is yelping leaving you to comfort the dog while he gets in his Jaugar and drives to a function where he is scheduled to speak before a crowd of "vargusted" campaign contributors.  It is someone who vicariously delivers pain to an innocent third party in order to demonstrate without a word their power over you and the depth of self-loathing within themselves."  She then thanked everyone for their time and left a stack of cards with her husband's cell phone numbers and the passwords to his various bank accounts and security systems in front of the podium before leaving - an act she apparently refers to as "straigging".