Wednesday, June 23 2010 Editor-in-Chief

President Obama, still fuming over the quotes that were published in the now-famous Rolling Stone article, announced today that he has asked for and accepted the resignation of "Billy Crystal" as Commander of US forces in Afghanistan. No word yet as to where this leaves the actual commander, 4-star General and all-around loudmouth Stanley McChrystal, but the President did also announce that he has ordered the head of U.S. Army Central Command, Gen. David Petraeus to assume control as host of the 2010 Academy Awards.