TheNuze.com

New Orleans - It is believed that most of the Cincinnati Bearcats have finally arrived in New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl, but many others have not and their whereabouts are unknown.  "We all knew the game was in New Orleans and we saw on TV that it's on New Years Day against Florida, but we didn't know how we were supposed to get there.  Coach usually handles,.. handled that stuff", said one member of the suddenly coachless Cincinnati football squad, "One of the guys thought the coach had said we were going to fly down here, but none of us knew when or what airline, and we have no idea what Coach did with the tickets.  Some of us jimmied open his old desk, but it was empty.  We were looking for the tickets and also for the keys to the practice facility."  So on Tuesday the players held an informal meeting in the parking lot and voted to start heading South by any means available figuring that if they split up, at least some of them would make it to the game.  They also gathered up all of the equipment the wasn't locked inside the practice facility and were able to come up with enough that, if the offense and defense shared helmets, they could field a team wearing their all-white practice uniforms.  "Me and two other guys drove down in my Hyundai.  It barely made it, but it was good that we brought it because we've been sleeping in the thing since Wednesday night.  With New Years Eve and the bowl game, there isn't a vacant hotel room in the whole city but the killer is knowing that there's a whole block of nice hotel rooms waiting for us if we only knew where they were.  Personally, I can't wait for game day just so I can take a shower", said another player.  He continued, "By the way, do you know where the Sugar Bowl is?  We've been driving around looking for it.  We've seen the Super Dome a hundred times but we can't find the Sugar Bowl anywhere."  When asked about the whereabouts of his teammates, that same player said, "I know Pike and Woods made it because we ran into them washing up in a McDonald's restroom.  A lot of other guys took Greyhound; no one's seen them since."  I can't begin to tell you how much this all sucks after going undefeated this year.  But on the bright side, nobody's made any of us run wind-sprints in two weeks and we've been able to party on Bourbon Street every night.