TheNuze.com

Vatican City, Holy See - In a few horrifying seconds during Midnight Mass at St Peter's on Christmas Eve, His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI was violently knocked to the floor.  The shocking site set off a wave of commotion that quicky swept across the multitude of worshipers who had gathered inside the massive Basilica.  Although initially presumed to have been a vicious attack on the Pontiff, it was later revealed that a woman making a desperate dash for the bathroom had accidentally knocked down the Pope in what onlookers described as a textbook t-bone tackle. "For Pete's sake! How many people are there here?!  Nearly a quarter of a million?  And only one bathroom?!  That's the real Christmas miracle.  I can't believe the floor isn't just a puddle of urine by the end of the service!  You know, like at St. Mark's.  I've been here for four hours, I saw the first break in the crowd and made my move.  I'm truly sorry and I hope His Holiness can see his way to forgive me for the mistake." said Piscataway, New Jersey resident Snookie Luccarelli from her holding cell deep in the catacombs below St. Peter's Basilica where she is awaiting arraignment and more importantly, bathroom privileges.